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Titanic - Demo

from The Quarantine Demos by Feral

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about

I wrote this song while studying abroad in Brighton, England. I had just moved into my new flat in a new country, knowing not a single soul when I realized it was the day of my supposed-to-be anniversary with my ex-boyfriend. I felt so alone and so broken that I got down and prayed for the pain to end, something I only do when I am truly desperate-- because I don't believe in God. That night I wrote the first verse and chorus in tears. I remember being slightly happy to use the Atlantic Ocean as a metaphor because I now could since i was living next to it for the first time! Then I cried myself to sleep.

Over the next few months I added in a second verse and bridge, edited the chorus a touch, and today that song is "Titanic."

lyrics

Night time's colder here across the sea
you are both closer and further from me
did you think of the day, did you even miss me?
or was it merely the end of January?
You look like your father, you live like a king
greying my waters as you kidnap my dreams
I'm crying so hard my voice wears out from the scream
will you tarnish the silver lining I find when I sing?

I am so broken that I call upon God
I do not believe but I want to be wrong
You're my delusion, my sad fantasy
I cannot hold you, but you're all that I see
Can you swim across the Atlantic?
We are beautiful but we are the Titanic
This is the pattern that I always fall in:
Adore him, adore him, adore him
I adore him, adore him, adore him

I've gotten older but you haven't seen
I've gotten witty, but you don't know what that means
Do you miss my eyes, unforgettable green?
Or does the envy in them make you run from the scene?
Us being young doesn't excuse anything
I still don't understand how you could do that to me
But if bullets ever went your way,
I'd step in front of you into an early grave

I am so broken that I call upon God
I do not believe but I want to be wrong
You're my delusion, my sad fantasy
I cannot hold you, but you're all that I see
Can you swim across the Atlantic?
We are beautiful but we are the Titanic
This is the pattern that I always fall in:
Adore him, adore him, adore him
I adore him, adore him, adore him

Now you're out there on the open sea
knowing every detail that there is of me
like my every single kink, and the way that I think
My love weighs me down, you float free, and I sink

I am so broken that I call upon God
I do not believe but I want to be wrong
You're my delusion, my sad fantasy
I cannot hold you, but you're all that I see
Can you swim across the Atlantic?
We are beautiful but we are the Titanic
This is the pattern that I always fall in:
Adore him, adore him, adore him
I adore him, adore him, adore him

I adore him, adore him, adore him

credits

from The Quarantine Demos, released March 31, 2020

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Feral Los Angeles, California

a song is a time capsule of pain <3

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