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Lonely Planet

from Trauma Portfolio by Feral

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about

One time before a first date, I was chewing my nails and had to spit out my nail before leaving the house. Disgusted with myself, I thought about how this guy would have no idea that I was a gross obsessive nail biter, and I thought about how I didn't want him to find out. But it also seemed like a fact so essential to me that I felt like for anyone to love me, they'd have to know that about me. So the question popped into my head on the way there: "Can you fall in love with a chronic nail biter?"

When I was home later, I took the line and wrote a song based around it, about wondering if I'd ever find someone to grow old with.

lyrics

My body's a world
and I want someone to travel it
I'll hand him my heart
and I'll watch him unravel it
I don't know if he's keeping track
I don't know if I'll find someone who feels it back
my surface gets grazed by fingertips
but no one really touches me,
even if he's fucking me
I'm far, far away
and no one ever stays

Can you fall in love with a chronic nail biter?
Are you brave enough to be my fist fighter?
I want to make it to the end of the road
with you in my passenger seat
When my body stops bleeding, and your hairline's receding
Be the last hand that I hold when I'm fading,
and I'll be the gold in your arms

I've been spinning out here for a million years
alone in outer space
waiting for an astronaut to visit
and kiss my face
Marveling at me but unable to stay,
cause I'm not a hospitable world as they say
and I've had people put up their flags
but they're always red and then they never come back

Can you fall in love with a chronic nail biter?
Are you brave enough to be my fist fighter?
I want to make it to the end of the road
with you in my passenger seat
When my body stops bleeding, and your hairline's receding
Be the last hand that I hold when I'm fading,
and I'll be the gold in your arms

I've been spinning out here and it gets kind of old
the universe is harsh and I'm lonely and cold
I forget how it feels for someone to hold me close
I look into the mirror and I only see a ghost
can anybody out there love me the most?
If i can't be your home let me try to be your host

Can you fall in love with a chronic nail biter?
Are you brave enough to be my fist fighter?
I want to make it to the end of the road
with you in my passenger seat
When my body stops bleeding, and your hairline's receding
Be the last hand that I hold when I'm fading,
and I'll be the gold in your arms

I'm a lonely planet, oh my god, I can't stand it
I'm a lonely planet, oh my god, I can't stand it
When my body stops bleeding, and your hairline's receding
Be the last hand that I hold when I'm fading,
and I'll be the gold in your arms

Be the last hand that I hold when I'm fading,
and I'll be the gold in your arms

credits

from Trauma Portfolio, released October 20, 2018
Written by Kelsey.
Guitar & vocals by Kelsey.
Drums by Ian Pillsbury.
Recorded, mixed, mastered and produced by Ian Pillsbury at The Loud House, Santa Cruz, CA, Summer 2018.

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Feral Los Angeles, California

a song is a time capsule of pain <3

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